You Can Be Right and Still Lose. You Can Lose and Still Win…..
When I was younger in my IT career, I believed that if I had the right answer, I had to prove it.
If someone pointed to the network, I’d defend it. If I knew the issue wasn’t on our side, I’d push back with logs, captures, and technical facts. I was convinced that being technically correct was enough.
Over time, I realized something.
Being right doesn’t always solve the problem.
As you work with different teams—servers, security, applications, cloud, and vendors—you’ll notice that every team has its own perspective. Everyone is trying to solve the same problem, but sometimes we become too focused on defending our own domain.
I’ve learned that a diplomatic approach often gets better results.
Diplomacy doesn’t mean agreeing with everything or accepting blame. It means understanding the other team’s perspective, asking better questions, and keeping the conversation focused on solving the problem instead of proving who’s right.
Think about how many incidents have been resolved by something unexpected:
- A simple reboot.
- Changing the interface speed or duplex.
- Bouncing an interface.
- Restarting a service.
Sometimes the fix doesn’t even align with what the “book” says should happen.
That’s why experience teaches us to stay curious instead of becoming defensive.
One lesson that has stayed with me is this:
You can defend your technical position without creating conflict.
The goal isn’t to win the argument. The goal is to restore the service.
As your career grows, you’ll realize that people remember how you made them feel during high-pressure situations. A calm engineer who collaborates will almost always have more influence than the smartest engineer in the room who argues with everyone.
I’m still working on this myself. I’m far from perfect, and maybe that’s a good thing—it means there’s still room to grow.
The IT industry is smaller than we think. You’ll cross paths with the same people again and again. Build relationships, not rivalries.
Keep learning.
Keep challenging ideas.
But when possible, choose diplomacy over confrontation.
You might be surprised how much further it takes you—not only as an engineer, but as a leader.